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Overexposure

I rode my bike on Saturday for the first time in weeks. It was a beautiful sunny day, if a bit chilly. I wore cycling knickers to keep my knees covered as I always do when the temperature is below 70 degrees. I rode 27 miles, which was enough to make my out-of-shape carcass sore the next day. The flat parts were fine, but the uphill bits sucked big time.

On weekend rides I typically run into a few cyclists I know. As I crossed the Golden Gate Bridge on Saturday, my friend Missy passed me on her bike and said hi. I saw Missy again today at spin class. She took me aside in the locker room and said, "I didn't want to shout this to you on the bridge, but I think it's time to retire those bike pants you were wearing, if you know what I mean."

I was immensely grateful to her for pointing this out -- what are cycling buddies for if not to tell you that they can see your butt through your faded, stretched-out lycra? -- but also mortified at the thought of how long I've been exposing the details of my pale derriere through these pants. They are my favorite bike knickers, they are five years old, and I wear them all the time. Which is why they're so worn out that they are, apparently, transparent.

My friends and I often snicker when we see older gentlemen cyclists (and it's always older men) wearing ancient, saggy bike shorts that expose far more than needs to be seen to those who ride behind them. And now I've become one of them. At least I've got friends who have me covered.

March 20, 2006 3:21 PM