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Don't Overlook My Sheep
To most endurance-sports folk, DOMS means "Delayed-Onset Muscle Soreness." It's the familiar pain that peaks about 48 hours after a hard race or workout, a tough hike, an overambitious session in the weight room, a day of heavy-duty gardening, or an afternoon spent helping a friend move into a third-floor apartment.
I also suffer from a different type of DOMS: Delayed-Onset Movie Sadness. I finally saw Brokeback Mountain last weekend, and I was pretty devastated at the end. I shed a few tame tears during the credits, but as we parted ways with Julie and Brian at the second-run theater, I told Dave, "I am moments away from weeping." The feeling of grief overwhelmed me, not just for Ennis and Jack, but for everyone who has ever had to conceal or smother the most important things in their lives for fear of retribution. I also felt overcome by deep sadness for the people I love who now live, or lived, or died, immersed in isolation, fear, and utter loneliness.
I wallowed in that soggy-eyed feeling for most of Sunday; it hit its nadir Monday night when I bought the soundtrack on iTunes primarily to listen to that sorrowful slide guitar-y two-minute final track which -- gah -- until Saturday I had only heard in the Oscar orchestra rendition. (There are several fantastic country tracks on the album; the score tracks themselves are pretty good but not epic.) I also spent a while reading user-submitted stories of hidden and lost love on the film's official web site, which nearly brought me to tears again.
But today, I'm fine. Just a tiny bit sad. Just as if I had run a marathon Saturday night, the pain would have peaked last night, and I'd be 99% better now.
Near the end of the movie, I found myself thinking, why would anyone want to own a movie like this on DVD? It left me feeling so depressed, I couldn't imagine watching it over and over again. But now that I've recovered from the DOMS, I find myself wanting to watch it again for the amazingly acted moments of tenderness between the two cowboys and the awe-inspiring mountain scenery. Something about the journey made me want to repeat the trip, even though it left me beaten up, and I suppose that's why I keep running marathons even though I swear every one is my last when I'm at mile 25.
May 16, 2006 10:10 PM
I have this condition too, although mine goes on much longer. I will dwell on the same movie for weeks. Though usually not the whole thing, just some particular thought or concept that was conveyed. I didn't have that reaction to Brokeback Mountain though. I didn't really like it that much. Daniel did - he refused to view it for months and then once he did, went on about shirt hugging for weeks.
the strange thing for me is that i get weepy when i'm watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer. (no joke.) but as you know, this movie didn't leave me wiping my eyes on brian's shirt - until monday morning, when i was in the shower and started processing the unfairness, the love, the sadness - and then i nearly lost it, in the shower, while getting ready for work...i'm still a bit spun. maybe i need to see it again to really let the tears flow.